the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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