Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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