no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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