There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
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Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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