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Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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