how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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