I would go down on you faster than GM stock
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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