this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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