I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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