Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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