if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize