what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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