remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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