Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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