happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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