who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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