White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize