she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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