I must be too annoying 4 u.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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