Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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