can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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