Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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