I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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