I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize