And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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