Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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