If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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