I think I won the penis lottery.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
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