we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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