is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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