after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize