He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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