The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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