Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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