you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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