Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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