this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize