oh god the rape fog is back!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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