doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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