pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize