David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
