just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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