I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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