I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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