my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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