Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
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Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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