you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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