Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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