i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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