Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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