Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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